Thursday, October 17, 2013

Lesya and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

So writing all this down at the end of the day is a kind of catharsis for me.  And y'all thought I was doing it for you.  It's good for me to go back over the events of this day and see the good parts and the not so good parts in hindsight.  I try to evaluate what worked and what didn't work, what went well and what went not so well.  Every day is a learning experience and I don't want to make the same mistake twice. 

Today was the kind of day that makes you too tired to even try to reflect.  It was a really difficult day.  Usually, when we have a bad time with Diana, I sit down on this blog and write out every gory detail of what happened and what she did and what I did, etc.  Once I write it, and get it all out, I feel so much better.  Then I go back and erase it all and give you just the bare minimum so that you know what's going on.  Let's face it, even though part of me really wants to portray it completely and accurately, I'm still her mom.  She is my daughter and I'm protective of her.  I don't want to put stuff on here that is going to make her look bad.  She's had a rough go of life so far and she needs protection and love, not infamy and whispers behind her back as she tries to grow up.

Today was a bad day, a bad, bad day... a bad day between Diana and I and a bad day between Ken and Yuli. 

So let's just talk about the positive.  At one point today, Ken was involved in an issue with Yuli.  She doesn't like him.  We were so focused on John's blatant lack of warm fuzzies for me that we didn't actually notice Yuli's passive aggressive feelings for Ken.  She didn't listen to him very well and unfortunately I didn't help his position as an authority figure when I would step in and enforce what he was telling her.  I didn't think about it until lately, I just thought I was helping since she would listen to me.  Anyway, it all came to a climax today when I was going round with Diana, Ken took the other kids to the park.  Well, when they got home Yuli wouldn't follow his instructions.  It got serious and he and I both felt that it would be best if he handled it solo.  It took over two hours, she was so mad at him that she made herself puke.  It was not good.  Anyway, since he was otherwise tied up, I had John.  When I initially scooped him up and took him from the room, locking the door so he couldn't go back in, he yelled for Papa.  He was a little messy from lunch so I took him to the bathroom and turned on the water to wash his hands.  I washed his hands and his face and he was really fascinated with the water.  I let him play for five minutes and then I very apprehensively turned the water off.  He was fine.  I scooped him up.  He was still fine.  We came back to the kitchen.  He saw his sandwich and wanted it.  So I gave it to him.  I was still holding him and he was still ok with it.  I started to do the one armed kitchen clean up (it's been a while so I'm out of practice).  When I started to put the cereal away, he asked for some.  I gave him some.  I kept holding him and giving him more cereal until he fell asleep on me.  It felt so good.  I didn't want to put him down.  My momma heart was happy, happy, happy.  He still prefers Daddy but at least we can do ok with each other when Daddy isn't available.

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