Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Case of the Missing Milkshake

So there's this children's music artist. She's relatively famous now, as children's music artists go, you may have seen her on NickJr. Milkshake. Anyway, she's out of Baltimore, MD and before she got on NickJr, she was giving free concerts in the parks around here. I think DS3 was just a baby and we went to the concert. We ended up purchasing her CD and we LOVED it. We listened to it all summer. Every time we got in the truck, we heard, "open up a bottle of sunshine, mix it up with a bowl full of daydreams, pour it into a suitcase full of laughter that I found... you won't find me sittin around." Anyway, we lost it. We looked, and looked, and looked... we just couldn't find it anywhere. Many times since then, we've thought about it and wished we knew where it was.

Fast forward. I found myself getting irritated with the boys. It happens. Right? I mean, they're kids... they can be irritating. Not a big deal. Really. Except... I realized that it was happening more and more. And more often than not. That's not so good. I had this awakening. I realized that I wasn't enjoying them anymore. That really hurt me. Now, that's not to say that I thought my children were miserable and I NEVER enjoyed them. We did lots of stuff together that we all really enjoyed. Crafts, field trips, reading books, playing with play dough, even yard work. What I'm saying is, I used to enjoy them all the time. I saw the world through the eyes of my children. I experienced the wonder and excitement of everything new again. New to them. If I was cooking, I wanted them with me. Who cares about flour and eggs on the floor? If I was doing laundry, they sat on top of the washer and put in the detergent and the fabric softener. Every minute I had with them was a joy and a wonderful new experience. That had all gone away. Somehow, I thought dinner would be done faster if I did it myself. Laundry would be easier if I didn't have them sorting the socks by tossing them across the room. I don't know. I let the mundane, the duties, the stuff of life swallow me and convince me that it would be better to put my life in boxes... some where kids were allowed, some where they weren't. How did that happen? That's not me. It happened because I let it. I allowed myself to think that somehow, laundry, a clean house, and a well organized life was important enough to let it squeeze out my children. MY CHILDREN.

So I've spent a lot of time trying to get back to that other way of life. The way where I include them in everything that they want to participate in. It's hard to go back to thinking that way once you get away from it. Then the other day, DS3 (4yo) wanted to be big like his brothers. He wanted to make the bread. I enjoyed helping him. :) And I mean, I really enjoyed it. I laughed when the flour hit the floor. I beamed when he ran the blender all by himself. I held my breath when he cracked the egg. And I bit my lip to keep from laughing when he announced, "It's time for the east!" Somehow he never gets that 'y' out. And when he pressed that start button and turned to me full of pride and said, "I did it! I made bread because now I'm four years old!" I blinked back the tears long enough for him to jump down, run off to join his brothers, and leave me to clean up the kitchen while crying for joy. Why did I ever let that get away from me? I will NEVER do that again. I will NEVER allow the meaningless garbage of making it through the day take my children from me.

So you're wondering what all this has to do with the missing Milkshake CD. Later, that same day the boys and I were in the school room. We have been working on learning the books of the Bible. I couldn't find the CD with the books of the NT that we had used the last time we worked on it. And, it had been so long, that I just threw in another one. Well, DS1 and DS2, who had learned them, got really confused with the new song. SOOOOO, I started looking through ALL the cases trying to find "I'm Gonna Sing" with the correct version of the song. I knew it had to be somewhere, I just figured it had gotten put away in the wrong case. I must have looked inside a dozen cases, all the while the boys are trying to get used to the newer version. Then I opened a case from an audio book that the boys never really liked and there it was-Milkshake! I literally started squealing and jumping up and down. I couldn't even get out what it was to tell the boys. I put it in the CD player and started blasting the music. It was wonderful. I finally regained composure and the boys asked if we could take and listen to it in the truck. So we did. I have to tell you. I put that CD in the truck and despite the 60 degree weather outside, when the music came on I was smacked with the heat of July in my memories. Memories started flooding back, memories of a time when every day was an adventure to be had... we found ourselves at the park, at the zoo, playing in the sprinkler behind our house, whatever notion struck us. I literally started crying. Like I said, I'll never forget that again. I told my DH that I thought the CD was deliberately hiding from me because I didn't deserve to have those memories back. At least not until I figured things out. So now we are loving life, listening to Milkshake, and going where the wind (or the boys) blow.

I am so grateful to God that he helped me to see where we were and where we needed to get back to before I lost too much time with my kids. Don't ever take anything for granted.

Oh, and by the way, I was able to stay on task and find "I'm Gonna Sing" and we all know the books of the New Testament. It was in the case of another audio book that the boys didn't care for. That's why we hadn't found them. They didn't like those.

No comments:

Post a Comment