Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The Other Side of the Coin

Since I told yesterday about my fabulous time away with my big boys, I thought I should share about the rest of the story. 
John has been sick for more than a week now.  I hated leaving him.  As much as he had been attached to Ken in the beginning, he's a momma's boy now.  I really wasn't looking forward to leaving him.  I also knew that Juli's relationship with Ken has never really gotten off the ground and that she would have a difficult time with me leaving.  What I didn't plan for was Diana's reaction.  When I told them about it she seemed ok.  Then Saturday morning, she was playing on the floor and just looked up at me and said, "Mami no va."  (Mommy don't go.)  I explained to her that I needed to go and that she would sleep that night and have the whole day tomorrow with Daddy.  When she went to bed that night, I would come and kiss her goodnight after she was sleeping.  She was having a difficult time dealing with it but when she saw Cody packing clothes to go, it was all over.
I needed the time away but I hated to do it.  These kids have been through so much before we got them.  And when you look at it, they've been through an awful lot since we've gotten them.  They had to leave their homes, their schools, everyone and everything they knew to go to another city and have this 'new' family thrust upon them.  When they finally started getting used to the new space, we had to up and go to a new place.  That place was no fun; we couldn't really go and do much.  It was a whirlwind of doctors appointments, photos, applications, meetings here and there, shots and sooooo much waiting.  There was no time to cope with or heal the emotional upheaval caused by this move before we had to hop on a plane for five hours to go home.  The home that's they've never seen before, yet, they are expected to view it as home.  A five hour plane ride is difficult enough for little kids but put on top of that what they have to deal with emotionally for this move.  We've been home for 3 months and 2 days.  Ken has had to leave for work several times, but mom hasn't left them.  I did a quick trip to the store a couple of times but really, I've never left them. 
How are they supposed to believe me when I tell them it will be ok?
But Ken is fabulous.  He is so very patient with them and he is really hands on.  He is such a great dad.  They went to the basement and played.  He made pepperoni rolls for dinner.  He sat with John when he was upset and crying for Mami.  He did laundry.  He changed diapers.  He did math.  He held John when he accidentally fell asleep on him.  The only thing he didn't do was go to church.  John ended up being entirely too sick for that.  He did such a good job that when I went to the girls room to get them the next morning, they really weren't all that excited to see me. 
I guess that's good.


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